Be Kind to Yourself

One of the most difficult things I found when I was going through the first few years of learning to live with chronic illness, was being kind to myself and listening to my body. 

The first year after my diagnosis I had physically lost everything. I was no longer able to work, I couldn't drive because of the slipped disc in my back and then I lost the use of my legs ending up in a wheelchair. In my mind I no longer had the ability to be a 'worthwhile' human. Of course I was grieving. I was grieving the loss of what I believed to be my identity. So of course, as I have never liked being told what to do, I rebelled. "You can't stop me I'm invincible, even on four wheels!". Obviously as you can imagine this didn't go down too well with my body and so eventually, I had to accept that my life would never be the same again.

Getting out of bed was exhausting. By the time I had managed to wash and get dressed I was in so much pain I needed to rest again. If I felt tired throughout the day, which was most of the time, I had to go to sleep. I felt as if my life was passing me by and I wasn't present for most of it. However, because I listened (my body would be screaming "finally, finally" if you could hear it right now) I managed, after nearly three years, to get out of that chair and learn to walk again. 

I think sometimes 'we humans' consider ourselves weak or lazy to take some time out. We have so much to do that we can't possibly have a day of doing nothing, or my excuse was, I can't afford to stop! I also had the opinion that I didn't deserve to take time out because I hadn't proven myself yet. Here's the thing. There is only one 'you' and you are everything you need to be, just as you are. So listen to your body and most importantly be kind to yourself. 

Something to try!!

Over the years I have learnt that taking time to relax, breathe and simply just be, is not only important but essential. You CAN find the time even if it is just 3, 5 or 10 minutes to stop, close your eyes and breathe. Concentrate on the breath as you breathe in. Be aware of where it goes filling your body with life giving air. Then breathe out slowly, still noticing the breath. This simple act allows your brain to stop for just a few precious moments. Try it and let me know how you get on. 

My inspiration for this post today is the glorious book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. I had seen this book several times in various bookshops but had yet to picked it up or purchased it. Then I saw a page taken from the book in someones story on Instagram. Inspired to purchase it, the book arrived this afternoon and I read the whole thing in one go. Beautiful and uplifting in every sense of the word.